Thursday, August 25, 2011

Having a Baby

My wife and I are having a baby soon.  We are very excited, of course.  I already have (sick) visions of the "youngest life master" as a Rexford.  Who knows?  Eh, she'll probably have nothing to do with bridge (if she's smart).

Pregnancy has lots of potential complications, one of which is "gestational diabetes."  It is a condition where you can develop an inability while pregnant to process sugars because hormones block the effectiveness of insulin.  One solution is to eat lots of small meals per day rather than our usual one big dinner and snacks late at night.  Work causes a dumb eating schedule, you see.

As always, I see bridge parallels to life.  So, is even this capable of a bridge parallel?  Sure.

Take matchpoints, for example.  Healthy eating might be shooting for average plus all night.  If you could maintain just a 65% on each board, you would surely win most games.

On the other hand, shooting for tops all night long usually results in tops and bottoms, feast and famine.  If you have three 100% scores, but also three 0%, you end up with 50%.  To get to 65%, you need about six 100% scores for every three 0% scores.  That's a lot of work, and it is definitely not healthy.

The thing is, from experience, 100% never seems to be 100%.  It ends up second to top or tied for top.  0%, bottom, however, tends to be full blown 0%.

In contrast, the "average plus" never seems to be 65%.  Rather, you end up with a lot of 75% average plus results.

IMP scoring, however, seems different.  A top yields a lot IF the top is big scorer.  Lots of less costly bottoms cost less.  Plus, the margin seems different. IMP scoring, to some degree, is more like GETTING PREGNANT.  The boys either swim or not.  There is no 65% pregnant.  So, with IMP scoring, you go for the BIG SCORE.

This parallel seems to play out even more.  Matchpoints is like bearing a kid.  Constant headaches over little things.  Sickness.  Cramps, constantly.  Little achievements here and there.  Estimations of scores, somewhat like sonograms of the game.  And then, a lot of screaming when the results come in.

IMP games, however, are more like sex.  Big scores that you brag about.  Complete disasters that you pretend did not occur, and frankly blame on partner anyway.

I suppose that's why I like IMP games better.  My wife, though, complains that I play the hands too fast.  I like to get to the smoking faster, I say.

1 comment:

Nick said...

Ha, classic analogies. Congratulations, too!